Clinical psychologist and Being Seen therapist Paola Bailey had a sleepless night after the events in Charlottesville this past month, leading her to reflect on the psychological effects of the current administration. In a post on her practice’s blog, Bailey writes eloquently about living within an “emotional and psychological bombardment of news,” and what she notices in the bombardment — a new wave of American storm and stress her clients need to process:
People tell me of panic attacks, desire to leave the country, nightmares, and not knowing how to talk to their children about all that is happening. They talk to me about fights with their parents, friends, and coworkers. They tell me of total disorientation as they struggle to find a way to cope with all that is happening.
Bailey, who practices in Manhattan and Brooklyn, NY, offers her guide to coping with metabolizing news that insults our moral core and challenges us to keep on fighting against injustice.
Below is an excerpt from her guide, which outlines ways to both activate and deactivate as you go in your daily life.
Balancing activating and deactivating strategies, Bailey argues, is necessary for staying resilient, right now:
Activating Strategies
Find and join your community. Humans are social animals. We are not lone hunters, but instead survive, thrive, and flourish in community, be it families, cliques, or tribes. Right now, this is one of the most important tools at your disposal. Find and connect to your people, whoever they may be. Artists, musicians, activists, introverts, immigrants, women… whoever you are and identify with, find them and join them. Perhaps this means a weekly dinner, or a joint passion project, it doesn’t really matter as long as you frequently and consistently do it. Resist the urge to isolate.
Do something. This is our chance, our right, our responsibility. Figure out what matters most to you and then set aside a few hours a week and actually do something. Nothing fights depression and hopelessness like the sense of actually doing something about it. Need ideas? The obvious: attend a protest, write a letter or call your representatives. Even better, find what you care most about and then use whatever gifts you bring to this world and use it in service of that cause. Do you like bringing people together? Host a potluck and raise funds for your favorite nonprofit. You think of yourself as a passionate person who likes to dedicate time and energy to things you care about? Volunteer for one of those causes. Do you speak another language? Consider offering your language skills for translations, something small organizations often need help with. You feel strong and grounded in your body? Help escort patients into a Planned Parenthood clinic. You are a designer or artist? Help your friend who is hosting that potluck by creating a gorgeous and eye-catching invitation. You get my drift: find your cause and use your gift.
Exercise. When we are stressed, our parasympathetic nervous system fires and leaves you pumped full of various hormones, including adrenaline and corticosteroids. This leaves you feeling jittery, jumpy, exhausted and irritable. One of the best ways to use this energy in a way that actually lessens that chemical domino effect is to exercise. I don’t mean yoga, I mean intense, sweaty cardio. Go for a run, take a dance or spin class, chase your dog around a park. The best exercise to beat stress (1) pumps your heart rate, and (2) one you will actually do!
Read. Get yourself informed. Whatever your cause, whichever your top concerns, or your personally relevant topics are, find some good resources and read. I don’t mean more news and personal stories on social media, I mean literature, philosophy, history. Information is power and it is inspiration.
Deactivating Strategies
Unplug. This one can’t be repeated often enough. Your brain needs some downtime. Even if you feel things are moving fast and constantly changing, the truth is only a few important things happen every day, the rest is an echo chamber on repeat. Set a window of time each day during which you will catch up on news, and then stop. This means really stop, don’t watch the news while you run on the treadmill, or on your phone as you engage in other activities, including waiting for the train or on your commute. This brings me to another important point, stop staring at your phone in bed or right before you go to sleep. I suggest you buy yourself a good old-fashioned alarm clock and make a habit of charging your phone anywhere other than on your nightstand. In another room, preferably, but even a dresser across your bedroom will do. This is just good “sleep hygiene” (the blue screen light actually prevents your brain from adequately producing melatonin — the sleep hormone). It’s hard to relax and go to sleep when you’ve been plugged into the news or social media for the couple hours leading up to your bedtime. Enforce a time out, set a time when all electronics will go off for the night and stick to it. Your brain and body will thank you in the morning.
Give it (you) a rest. See point above. But it goes even further, to a broader, more holistic level. Set time aside to rest and recover. We all find different activities restorative, so take a couple minutes to make a list of your own (e.g., going for a walk or hike, taking a bath, listening to your favorite album, cooking a meal, strolling through a museum, getting a massage, or sitting in a steam room or on a beach, or on a mountaintop) and have it handy for those moments when you notice you are starting to feel worn-out and tired. These activities are generally much more helpful if you engage in them prior to being exhausted. Think of this as more of maintenance than damage control.
Meditate. Meditation has been repeatedly proven to be immensely helpful in battling depression, anxiety and insomnia. Science has also shown that it creates actual structural and functional changes in your brain, so not only are you less likely to develop cognitive impairments as you age, you are also literally building your brain’s stress resilience muscle, meaning that it will be stronger to face any stressors down the line. Don’t be intimidated by the word, meditation can be as light and casual or as disciplined and structured as you want it to be. As with exercise, the best type of meditation is the one you will actually do. So if this means closing your eyes and focusing on your breath for 10 minutes before starting your day, do that. If you find you crave a deeper practice, there are generally plenty of readily available and affordable community resources (think your local YMCA, JCC, or other community centers). There are also plenty of great books on the topic if you’d prefer to learn and practice on your own.
Self-care. This is an obvious one, but usually, the first thing to get pushed aside when we are stressed or overly busy. Self-care varies for us all and can mean a great deal of many things to different people, or even to the same person at different points in their life. The bottom line is to do something kind and generous for yourself. Think about what you might do for your best friend or partner if they were facing the same stressor. Maybe it means picking up some nice flowers on the way home, taking a yoga class, or maybe scheduling a road trip with your pals for the weekend. Self-care can be a solitary or joint activity, it can include friends, family, or pets. The only thing that matters is that you slow down long enough (refer to my meditation point above) to figure out what would help soothe, encourage, and comfort you, and then to decide that you are worth the time and energy to invest in yourself.
Bailey emphasizes balancing activities from both lists — using activating and deactivating strategies, never taking from one list more than the other. The goal is resilience, a word that is cropping up more and more, as journalist Steven Petrow pointed out in the Washington Post recently. “Resilience grows when we become intentional about bringing our best to difficult life seasons,” writes psychologist Tara Brach. Difficult political seasons, too.
Read Dr. Paola Bailey’s full post, “How to cope with the current political climate, a therapist’s guide.”
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Photograph of courtesy of Paola Bailey, Psy.D.