Cindy LeBow and Being Seen

16th February, 2011 - Posted by Jan Matney - 3 Comments

I was working on a project tonight and one of the questions I was required to answer was:

“Tell us a heartwarming story about someone you love, who has passed.”

This is the one I remembered and wrote, and I want to share it with all of you, especially those of you who never had an opportunity to meet Brad.

The first time Brad met my youngest son, Robert was only two.   Robert was painfully shy and did not talk to strangers.

He frequently hid behind me if someone came up to him that was unfamiliar.

I was surprised that he left my side and sat down on some steps in front of the building where we were, but we were in the Redwoods and it was peaceful and beautiful.

Like many other two-year olds, Robert was somewhat inarticulate and difficult to understand.  As he sat on the steps, Brad came and sat down next to him.

Robert began showing Brad his sneaker.  There was a little piece of rubber on one side that had a tear in it and apparently, this was upsetting Robert but he hadn’t told anyone about it, probably because it was so difficult for  him to speak clearly.

Brad was soft and connecting and listened so intently that Robert just began talking to him – and he just kept on talking and talking.  And Brad would murmur something back quietly, and Robert would talk some more.

I watched this amazingly deep connection.  I was awed at how open Robert was, how he trusted Brad and shared with him.

He held up his tiny foot, and they both examined the torn piece of rubber on the edge of his sneaker.  Brad’s eyes and voice were earnest and concerned.  In a way,  it was like watching two children talking.  Robert kept saying “Broken” and Brad nodded and looked intently at the sneaker – and repeated “Broken”.

Brad Brown was a great teacher, and I loved him.  For those of you who don’t know him – he was one  of the original creators of the More To Life Weekend and the body of work that some of us practice.

He dedicated  his life to awakening other people and  helping them to become their most authentic selves.

He had a way of taking people in and SEEING them.

When Brad saw me…I FELT Seen.  I have no other words to explain this.  It’s just what is so for me.

Something about that moment Brad shared with my son impressed me as the epitome of love.  It was unforgettable.  I wonder what would happen to our children if they were all so THOROUGHLY SEEN by the adults in their lives.

Robert still remembers that meeting.

Thank You for letting me share this with you all.

Although I know our great teachers live on in the work that they created and in their students, I miss Brad.  I miss his physical presence, and I really miss being SEEN  that way.

Cindy LeBow, More To Life student, www.moretolife.org

Jan: Jan Matney